Playlist: Bienvenue Dans Ma Vie

The next song on the playlist that we will be exploring is Bienvenue Dans Ma Vie, sung by Nikki Yanofsky. I tweeted that little joke about this song late last year. Nikki was 15 when she recorded this back in 2010. The same year she sang the Canadian national anthem at the Winter Olympics:

Not bad for a little kid. It gave me chills and I’m not even from Canadia. [Note to my editor: that’s not a typo, it’s a joke. Leave it the hell alone, dammit.]

But let’s look at the lyrics of the song we are supposed to be talking about:

Bienvenue dans ma vie
Tout est brillant ici
It’s warm inside
My door’s open wide
Don’t stand outside

Talk about double-entendre. First some French gobbledegook I don’t understand. Then warm inside. Yup, always is, in my experience. My door is open wide. Not something you usually brag about, but okay. It goes on:

You can see from far away
It’s a kind of place you’d like to stay,
Kick off your shoes,
Forget your strife

See from far away? Maybe a camel-toe reference. I dunno.

There’s a light on in the hall

Okay, well-lit is not a typical description. I’ll give you that. But hall? Yeah, hall is definitely carrying forth our metaphor.

Leading to a place
Where you can fall and rest your head

Rest your head. Right? Your head?

Close your eyes,
Welcome to my life.

I’m more of an eyes-open kind of guy. My life. Obvious metaphor for a vagina.

So this is clearly what we’re talking about, which is fine, except the girl is only 15! That’s just not right. I’m actually kind of surprised this isn’t labeled [explicit] in iTunes, and banned in Britain, and the national anthem of Japan.

Now that I’ve completely tainted the lyrics for you, here’s the song:

Nikki’s voice is still immature, so it is better suited to this song than it is to her Ella Fitzgerald covers, which have great technical accuracy, but lack any depth or soul whatsoever. She just hasn’t had enough heartache and pain in her short life to do justice to Ella’s songbook.

I like the French 1920’s jazz instrumentation of this song, but I’m a sucker for a good jazz accordion. That’s just a cross I must bear. Don’t worry, there aren’t any more accordion songs in the list. And there aren’t any more 15-year-olds singing about their naughty bits either.

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5 thoughts on “Playlist: Bienvenue Dans Ma Vie

  1. You have issues, my friend. And, like any good serial, it makes me want to see all your back-issues as well.
    Bien joué!

  2. 2 years later, and I just realized: the song title is an actual vagina pun. “vie” (life) is pronounced “vee” in French. Bienvenue you will recognize as “welcome”, if you’ve been to Epcot, because the lines at the fun park were too long. Dans means “inside”. Welcome inside my ‘vee’

    Good job, perv

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